I know a lot and nothing at all, I wish I could be a better person, a better something, a better everything, and I guess that just by doing this, against all my will and desire, I am agreeing with that “change” I am told I am so ready for… and even if I don’t even want to think about it is all I have been thinking of in the past few weeks… everything is so odd, I don’t understand this sudden circle of kindred souls that are gathering around me, and I have the feeling this is just the beginning.
I am afraid and so very curious… will I get to know who I really am? where do I come from? what is the mission? why at this point?
Every question I have, every answer I am given to all those questions I have never asked, every strange thing that happens every day… everything seems to come to orbit and gravitate in front of my eyes… and I am shutting them tight… I don’t want to see anything, not yet, I am not ready to see the truth, I don’t want to stop nursing the girl… she’s mine, she’s the only real thing that is mine and mine alone, untouched by anyone and everyone. If I surrender to this call I might have to let her go…
I am living in wonderment these days, and the one image that is constant all the time is you, you have become the anchor to my girl, to my past, to my comfort zone, and you might be the one whom I allow to deliver me to where they say I belong.
I know I am not good with love words so… this is for you… and more… much more…